A Bit of a Departure.

For the first time in my life I visited a nursing home. I left having made the decision that I never want to go into one and secondly I don't want my father in one.  This nursing home overlooking Bray Head and the Sugar Loaf is five star. A purpose built home. Modern, clean, tastefully decorated but yet strangely soulless.

The smell when you walked from the reception through the security doors was nausea inducing. A mixture of stale food and fish. Dad still managed to escape. Beats me how as I found it a pain pressing buttons and waiting for green lights to exit.

All the rooms had fabulous views of Bray Head or the Sugar Loaf. The day rooms were decorated in a lovely pallet of pale colours, yellows, baby blue, pale greens. But when you sat in one of the arm chairs looking out at a magnificent view or at a flat screen tv you realised the fabric was waterproof. There were no cushions to slump up against, no newspapers or magazines or old coffee cups lying about. In fact, the rooms were sterile.

The bedrooms were the same. No photos, no personal effects. Just clinical with bed, locker, wardrobe, flat screen tv and an ensuite.  The corridors long and hospital like. The inmates had big cheery names on their doors but that was the only cheer I could see.

An old lady wandered up and down and came into my dad's room. He said in a loud voice "what the hell is she doing coming in here?" I jumped up and asked her did she need help finding her room. I realised with a shock that the whole side of her face was black and blue and bruised. She was a tall, slim, fine looking lady. She told me crossly she knew where her room was but yet she was wandering aimlessly.

The staff are all Filipino. My dad couldn't understand a word they were saying. They smiled a lot at him but I thought in old age when slightly deaf you need to be able to understand those around you. My dad said to me "I just want to be around people who know me."

It took my son to wake me up. He said "you all need a slap. Your dad looked after you all your lives and now you do this to him."

Dad has dementia, caused by a series of minor strokes which damaged the part of his brain associated with memory. He has the memory span of a gold fish. He knows us all though thankfully. My mother is a frail 78 year old who is worn out from him. She has gone away for a week to get a rest and dad is only here while she is away. The ultimate aim was that when he was bad enough he would go into a nursing home full time. That was the plan. I don't intend it to be the plan anymore.

In fact I wanted to bring him here but in my heart I knew he'd be just as stressed in my house as it was not what he knew. Even if I took him out and stayed with him in his own house he'd be stressed that my mother wasn't there. It's very hard to know what to do for the best.

He's is difficult at the best of times but the constant questioning would wear you out. He never remembers the answers. But I hated seeing him frightened and vunerable. My dad was always so strong.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. The bottom line is we treat animals better. We put them out of their misery when their quality of life is compromised. But we preserve the lives of the elderly yet don't want to be bothered with the effort of looking after them.

I suppose the only time you bother to think about this is when it affects you. 

Sweet Spicy Pepper Relish, Sage Butter and Kitchen Tips

I get slightly old vegetables and fruit from my local green grocer for my pigs. I'm delighted to get it and even though my pigs are very picky, I figure the rest can go into my compost heap. However, I am continually amazed at the quality of stuff thrown out, not least that it is not sold at a reduced price.

Last year I had thrown loads of red and yellow peppers on the compost heap (many with little more than a soft patch on them). I suddenly decided to see what I could make and came up with a recipe from Oldfarm that I modified slightly. So the peppers were gathered up, washed and roasted and turned into a delicious sweet spicy pepper relish. This relish is amazing with scrambled eggs in particular. And the longer it is kept the better the flavour.


Sweet Spicy Pepper Relish

About 6 mixed peppers
1 chilli with seeds in
1 clove garlic
Half inch piece of ginger
Good pinch of salt
100ml white wine vinegar (or cider is fine)
100ml water
50g sugar

Method
Roast the peppers in a hot oven. When they are blackened remove and place in a plastic bag. Allow to cool. Pull off as much of the skin as you can manage. It doesn't matter if you can't get it all off. Put the skinned peppers into a blitzer and pulse them to roughly chop them but leave some pieces visible. Transfer into a saucepan. Put the chilli, garlic, ginger and salt into the blitzer and blitz until smooth. Add to the pan. Pour the vinegar, water and sugar in and bring the whole mix up to a gentle simmer. Simmer until it has reduced and thickened. Transfer into clean, sterilised jars. Allow to mature at least three months.


This week I discovered a big bag of sage with just a few brown leaves. Memories of pumpkin ravioli drizzled in sage butter in Tuscany came to mind. So I decided to make sage butter and freeze it.

Sage Butter

A good handful of sage (I had a huge bunch but you don't need this much)
Zest from a lemon and half the lemon juiced
1 clove garlic
Black pepper
125g butter

In a little blitzer chop the sage leaves finely. Add the garlic clove, the lemon zest, black pepper and cut the butter into cubes.

handy little blitzer

When it is somewhat mixed remove to a chopping board and finish mixing it with a fork.

Using the fork or your hands gather it up and roll it into a ball. I used my hands as the butter was still quite firm.

Give it a roll and put it in greaseproof paper and refrigerate until it hardens.

You can either keep it in the fridge and cut slices off it or freeze it sliced. 

Uses
Serve a slice on a pork chop or a steak.
Use to push under the skin of a roast chicken.
Toss it into pasta.
Use to finish off roasted summer vegetables.


I also discovered a load of limes in the pigs' veg. I use limes in Key lime pie and also in lentil dahl and usually when I want one, I have none. I am a great believer in freezing absolutely everything. When you live a 10k drive to the nearest supermarket you have to be. There is nothing worse than running out of a key ingredient, because then you have to get into the car and if you go into Aldi you end up coming home with a trifle bowl and ski gear. This happened me recently!

lime juice

I freeze lime juice, lemon juice, homemade pesto and coconut milk in ice cube trays. I would also freeze leftover wine but strangely I never seem to have any.....

coconut cream cubes and pesto cubes

Homemade stock is also very useful frozen in these cubes and handy when you just need a small amount of stock.

When they are frozen, turn the ice cube tray over and run for a few seconds under the hot tap. The cubes will pop out. Transfer them into a zip lock bag and put back in the freezer.

And remember if in doubt, try it. You will never know if you don't.

Meatless Meals

I sometimes find myself going through a meatless phase. I don't know why but very often when I make a meatless meal, (I don't say vegetarian as I almost always use a meat stock) I find I don't miss it at all.

Using lentils in particular make a meal seem almost meaty. Cheese will give a similar result.



I am doing lots of cookery demos at the moment for older people and some young and this was a huge hit.  

Spinach Leek and Ricotta Lasagne

Filling
1 large red onion sliced
3 leeks washed and finely sliced
1 clove of garlic crushed
1 pack of spinach washed
1 250g ricotta (use as much or as little as you like)

Tomato sauce
1 red onion diced
1 clove garlic crushed
Few sprigs fresh thyme (leaves only)
1 tin of chopped tomatoes or passata
Splash of red wine (optional)

Sheets of lasagne
1 or 2 fresh Mozarella balls
Fresh Parmesan grated

Method
Make tomato sauce first by cooking onions and garlic until soft in a little oil. Season. Add thyme and tin of tomatoes and cook down until thickened slightly (about 20 mins).

While the tomato sauce is simmering, in a large frying pan saute the onions, leek and garlic for a few minutes until softened. Season. Add spinach and cook until it is just wilted. Drain off any excess liquid. Cool slightly and stir in ricotta cheese. If you want a lower calorie option you can use a reduced fat creme fraiche.

fabulous contrast in colours

Stir in the ricotta

Layer up tomato sauce, sheets of lasagne and the filling in an oven proof dish. Finish with a layer of tomato sauce and scatter torn pieces of the mozarella. Finish with some parmesan grated.

One for now, one for later

Place in oven at 180C fan for about 25 minutes or until the lasagne feels cooked when pricked with a knife.

Any extra is suitable for home freezing.

Delicious readily available ingredients (chard in place of spinach)